A Hospital Stay is Torture for a Healthy Person

A Hospital Stay is Torture for a Healthy Person

If the current CIA Director, Leon Panetta (my former US Representative), wants to use harsh interrogation techniques now that waterboarding is taboo, I have a suggestion for him: send suspected terrorists to a hospital. All you have to do is remove the phone, TV and visitors to turn a hospital visit into pure torture.

OK, let me explain how this comes to mind. I was scheduled for a colonoscopy today. Preparation for this procedure is not fun for anybody. It is more complicated for me because I am on the blood thinner Warfarin (Coumadin). I was born with a problematic heart valve. Twenty years ago it was replaced with an artificial valve and I've been taking Warfarin ever since. If you take Warfarin every day it takes around 3 days to fully take effect and the same amount of time to wear off. They wanted me off thinning drugs for the procedure in case they removed polyps which might otherwise cause me to bleed too much or too long. I stopped taking Warfarin Sunday and was instructed to inject myself with Lovonox daily.

Lovonox is a fast acting blood thinner that works right away and wears off quickly. I picked up the drug after paying my $90 co-payment on the $500 prescription. I was taught how to inject myself. The point is that I could keep my blood thin right up to the procedure, stop and have normal clotting during the procedure and then ramp back up on the generic blood thinners.

Yesterday I injected myself and could taste medicine seconds after doing so. Lovonox stings. I was scared thinking I had injected the drug into a vein or something and really had no idea how bad that was. I panicked and apparently lost consciousness for a few seconds. This naturally terrified my wife who called 911. By the time the Ambulance, Fire truck and curious neighbors gathered around I was feeling fine. But I had to go to the ER for tests; my only other choice was to disagree with everybody and live with Teresa being worried.

Emergency Rooms are the start of the torture. They immobilized me by sticking very sticky patches all over my body and attaching wires to them so they could electronically monitor my heart continuously. They also put a needle in my vein and took blood a few times. I was lying flat on a hard gurney for 7 hours with no food or water or any entertainment. That is torture! I felt perfectly well and was bored to death. Finally the medical advice was announced: it was strongly recommended I stay in the hospital overnight for observation. Well I was fine but Teresa wanted me to stay so I did not leave against medical advice even though I really wanted to. It was only the 2nd time all day I had a choice, but I didn't want to worry Teresa so I was helpless with no real choice.

Finally I was brought a plate of cold food. There was plenty of it and it would have been palatable if it were warm as it once was. Now for real torture this food would have to be worse and there would need to be less of it. Some space was freed up and I made it upstairs to the hospital proper. The bed was actually comfortable and I had a personal TV. These two accommodations could easily be dealt with. Also the extremely nice and helpful staff could easily be replaced with resentful and mean people. Ex-waterboarders or Abu Ghraib staff might provide a pool of replacement candidates.

Nice as the staff was they were instructed to periodically stick needles into me to inject drugs and remove blood even in the middle of the night. It is impossible to sleep through getting stuck. At times they would also give me pills, take my blood pressure and temperature. Naturally I continued to be wired so really only could exist in one position. It was torture I tell you!

This morning I was told what I already knew: I was fine. I wasn't as good as before the visit though. I now have a dozen circular areas on my chest and legs with no hair where the super sticky patches were ripped off pulling copious amounts of hair with them. I have many holes in my body, most with bruises. My body aches from laying in one position for 24 hours. I'm tired after not being able to sleep for more than 2 hours at a stretch. The colonoscopy was canceled. I am back on Warfarin and must continue to inject myself with $90/doses Lovonox for the next few days until my blood is back to the unnaturally thin state that is now normal for me.

I am extremely happy to be home! Now, I wonder how long I can delay re-scheduling that colonoscopy?

4/24/2009 (c) Copyright Carl Wohlforth